Any tie is better than the ducky one season 8
by Ida-Marie
Summary: Continues where season 7 left off : Will Ted finally meet his wife?
1. The airport

_Kids, in May 2012 some big stuff was happening to the members of our gang. Marshall and Lily had just had a son, Barney was engaged and I was getting back together with Victoria – on her wedding day._

"So what do you say?" Victoria smiled at Ted. "5-star hotel in Barbados, all expenses paid?"

"Sounds like a plan." He turned the wheel and took the left exit. "To JFK airport."

**At the airport**

"I can't believe we're doing this." Ted pondered out loud as they sat waiting for their delayed flight to arrive. "I can't believe we're actually running off together. I can't believe…" he continued, looking down at the name on his ticket. "That you were going to take the last name of Burger. I mean, come on, Victoria Burger? No wonder you changed your mind."

Victoria laughed. "It's _Bürger._ Apparently a pretty common name in Germany. Although doesn't Victoria-burger sound pretty cool? Like something a sports-team would eat after they win a game. It could be a thing."

Ted returned the laughter. "Totally!" Then his face turned serious, concentrated.

"What's the matter. Getting cold feet?" Victoria said jokingly, though there was a strain of nervosity in her voice.

"No, I just thought I heard something."

And there it was again, that very familiar voice.

"Yes, the smoking section is fine. I just _really_ want to get on that plane."

Ted and Victoria approached her just as she left the counter with a single ticket in her hand, wearing a denim jacket and a backpack.

"Robin?" Ted asked hesitantly.

"Ted!" Robin looked at him with a mixture of surprise, pain and guilt.

"What are you doing here?"

Robins eyes seemed to be focused on something very interesting on Teds left shoe. "I was just…" She fumbled to find the right words. He gently pulled the ticket from her hand.

"Toronto, one-way?" All the thoughts of Victoria and Barbados seemed to blow completely away from his mind, and there was a tone of anger in his voice. "You're going back to Canada? When were you going to tell us about this?"

"I… I was going to call you."

"Call us? After 7 years of friendship you just decide to leave the country and figure you'll just call us from _Canada_? I don't believe it, I…" He lowered his voice as people were starting to stare. "I thought you were happy here, Robin. You're finally a real news anchor, your career is going great."

"Yes." Robin appeared to have found her words again. "That's what I am, isn't it. Robin Scherbatsky, journalist. That's all I am. Career over anything. Marshall and Lily are married. Barney and Quinn are engaged, and it's only a matter of time before you and Victoria are too. You're great together. And in a couple of years you'll all have children. You won't hang out at the bar anymore, you'll be hanging out at chuck-e-cheese talking about diaper brands and the latest disney movie. Where does that leave me? I'm sorry, Ted, but I just don't feel like I fit into the group anymore. And…" Robin tried her best to hide the tears in her eyes. "I just need to get away for a while. Somewhere I won't constantly feel like the 7th wheel. Somewhere I can get a fresh start."

Ted just stared at her. He couldn't believe what she was saying.

"When will you be coming back?"

"I don't know. I just…" her tears were becoming impossible to hide. "Goodbye, Ted."

And she was gone.

"Ted, are you okay?"

Ted turned around and suddenly remembered why he was there.

"I don't know." He said honestly. Robin had been one of his best friends for 7 years and now she was moving away.

"Listen…" Victoria took his hand and looked him gently in the eyes. "I'm really sorry. But watching Robin take off like that without talking to you made me realise that's exactly what I'm doing to Klaus…"

"You need to go back and talk to him." He stated simply.

"I need to go back and talk to him." She nodded. "But I'll call you. Soon."

"Sure."

_And there I stood, alone in the middle of JFK airport, my best friend headed to Canada and my girlfriend headed to her wedding. And kids, I wouldn't see either of them for weeks._

* * *

So, what do you guys think? Please review! :)


	2. Pregnant

_The next day I tried calling Victoria. I tried calling her several times, but there was no answer. At night I went down to the bar with your uncle Barney to try and get my mind off things._

"I don't see it. _How _is a bachelor party at The Lusty Leopard inappropriate?"

Ted sighed where they sat in their usual booth. _How _was that guy even getting married?

"Does Quinn even approve of you having a bachelor party?"

"Ted, come on." He looked at Ted like he was a little child who'd just asked what the capital city was. "How can she not approve, it's a _bachelor party. _One of the most ancient and noble traditions known to man. It started…" He seemed to be gazing at a point beyond Ted, who was taking a big sip of his beer. "In the great _Brone age._ The cave dudes realized it was unnatural for a bro to live the rest of his life with a single pair of boobs. So they threw him a big party where they invited the hottest cave chicks. That way said chicks' boobs would be imprinted in the bros mind, saving his sanity and marriage. It is said that to ensure a happy marriage a bro must see at least five pairs of boobs the night before his wedding. True story."

"Yeah, I'm not so…" Ted was interrupted by Quinn approaching their table.

"Hey guys." She smiled. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing." Ted shrugged. "Just Barney wanting to celebrate his commitment to you by getting lap dances from your former co-workers."

"Huh." She said thoughtfully. "Why am I not surprised?" Then her face turned serious. "Speaking of surprises, I kinda have some big news." She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Barney choked. "But-how…? I mean, we used… What are you gonna do?"

Quinn suddenly burst out laughing. "Relax, I'm not pregnant." She winked to Barney with an evil grin. "That's for making us miss our trip to Hawaii." She grabbed Barney's bottle and took a few sips.

Barney breathed out in relief. "You really scared me there. I mean, could you picture us two as parents?" He laughed nervously.

"Well… why not? I mean, we are going to be married. I'm not saying it should happen right away, but eventually you want to have kids, right?"

Barney frowned slightly. "I guess we haven't really talked about that"

Sensing a private conversation coming up, Ted excused himself and left the bar.

Back in his apartment he tried calling Victoria again.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Ted. I've been trying to call you all day. How'd it go last night?"

"Ted, listen…" Victoria sounded tired and her voice was muffled, as if she'd been crying. "I'm getting back together with Klaus.

Teds heart sank like a stone.

"What?"

"Yesterday when I was driving back to the church I started feeling really sick, so I had to pull over. At first I just thought it was just my nerves or something but then I started to worry. I went into a gas station and bought a pregnancy test…" Her voice broke. "I'm carrying Klaus' baby."

* * *

A little short, I know. Next one will be longer :) Please review :)


	3. Long night

**Sorry I've taken so long to update this story, I've been really busy with summer school. anyhow I hope you like it :)**

* * *

_Well kids, almost 3 weeks had passed since Victoria dumped me, and we were all getting used to our new group consisting of Marshall, Lily, Marvin, Barney, Quinn and me._

It was almost midnight where Ted sat in his apartment grading papers. He had been down at the bar all evening with his friends, chatting and enjoying several games of cards. He was almost about to fall asleep at his desk when there was a knock on the door.

He opened the door to find Barney standing there with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Ted. You know me pretty well, right?"

"Sure."

"Say I wanted to move to New Jersey. I know, it's a terrible idea, it's _New Jersey._ But what if, like, all my suits were in New Jersey and moving there would be the only way to be with them? Do you think I could get used to living in New Jersey? I mean, I love my suits Ted!"

"If this is some sort of metaphor it doesn't really make sense."

"I can't be a dad. _You_ know that; when we were gonna adopt a kid I was gonna buy it a _pet cobra._" Barney looked defeated. "I just have no idea how a father is supposed to be. How could I, I never had one myself. But Quinn, she wants kids. And I love her, Ted. I don't want to lose her."

"Huh." It was pretty rare for Ted to see Barney being so serious about things, and he wasn't sure what to say. "Have you tried talking to Quinn about this?"

"No. Not since that time in the bar 3 weeks ago. I told her I needed time to think about it and she hasn't brought it up since. But no matter how much I think, I'm not getting anywhere; my mind's just running in circles, Ted." Barney looked frustrated.

_I opened up two bottles of beer and Barney and I talked for almost an hour. That night he ended up sleeping on my couch._

_Meanwhile Lily and Marshall were woken by Marvins scream. It had been a while since they'd slept through the night, but it was all worth it in the end. The baby had recently started laughing, and he loved to watch TV with his parents. To Marshalls great joy he seemed to enjoy documentaries about bigfoot and aliens over the educational childrens shows Lily tried to get him to watch._

"Seriously, why won't he sleep?" Lily yawned and squinted in the bright light from the over-head lamp. She turned to Marshall with suspicion in her eyes. "Have you been telling him those scary stories about poltergeists again?" She took Marvin from his crib and tried to calm him down.

"I did that _once. _I just want our child to grow up a believer. Besides, doctor Sonya said it's perfectly normal for him to sleep in turns of 2-3 hours. Some babies don't develop regular sleeping patterns until they're 6 months old.

Lily looked as if she'd been hit in the head with a frying pan. (How anyone knew that was the expression she got when hit with a frying pan is a completely different story_._)"_6 months?_ We're supposed to do this for _5 more months_? Can't we just slip him some Zopiclone or something? I do it to the kids in my class when they won't shut up, knocks them right out."

"Honey, we're not drugging our kid." He said calmly, but a hint of a smile could be seen on his lips.

"No, you're right. I'm just so tired" Marvin was finally sleeping in her arms. "At least we didn't have triplets or anything, then we'd be up around the clock." She shivered. "Constant diaper-smell, never ending screaming… Forget poltergeists, _triplets _are what he really should be afraid of."

_It was a tough night for all of us. And by 4am when I went up to use the bathroom I caught your uncle Barney watching a Canadian late-night game show. A game show featuring Robin._


	4. Babysitting

_Well kids, it was a sunny, hot July. The flowers were blooming, the ice-cream companies were heading towards new records, and everyone was enjoying their vacation. Everyone except for me. I was stuck teaching a summer class in Architecture 101 for the students who had failed it during the school year. Luckily there were only 6 kids in the class, including Jordy who had actually aced the class. I wasn't sure what she was doing there._

"And that, students, is why you should be very careful with where you place windows in a bed room. Especially if it's facing an elementary school."

He turned the projector off.

"Very well, that concludes todays class. I'll see you all on Monday."

"Umm, professor?" Jordy was hanging back as the rest of the class went out to enjoy the summer. She went up to the front of the class. "This might seem a bit frank, but… you're off for the day, right? Do you want to come back to my place for some drinks? And you can make sure my bedroom windows are placed correctly." She added with a shy but flirty smile.

Ted looked taken off guard. It was the first time a student had taken interest in him. Come to think of it, it had been a while since any girl had taken interest in him. He really needed to get out more…

He looked at Jordy. She was the tall, athletic type with long black hair and jeans. He'd never really noticed it before, but she was actually quite pretty with her dark eyes and cute smile. But then again, she was so young. She wasn't even old enough to drink in public! He couldn't go home with her, could he? It was completely inappropriate.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"Oh and also I just got the extended version of the Star Wars trilogy on Blu-ray. I mean, I don't know if you like Star Wars, but…"

"So where do you live exactly?" He was already holding his coat. One drink couldn't hurt, could it?

* * *

"I'm so glad we found a babysitter. I feel like the two of us haven't been alone since little Marvin was born." Lily was sitting across from Marshall at a little table at El Corazon.

"Yeah. I was kinda surprised Barney volunteered. I mean, he doesn't exactly have a history being a baby person." Marshall took a big bite of his chicken tapas.

"Well, I guess even Barney can change. And who knows, maybe babies will grow on him once he gets to spend some time with one. Maybe he'll even be good with them. I mean, just because he's drinking and gambling…" Lilys face was starting to pale. "And burning things and getting into accidents… Oh my god, what have we done?"

"Relax." He took Lilys hand. "I already made him promise no alcohol, fire or heavy weapons around the baby. I'm sure he'll do fine. Now let's just enjoy this night. Because if he _does_ screw up, it might be a while before there's another one like it." He glanced at Lilys panicy eyes. "I'm just kidding." He added quickly.

* * *

The sun was already high outside, and so was the traffic. Quinn yawned and rolled over to her side. Working as a stripper for so many years, she had gotten into the habit of sleeping late in the mornings.

She sat up on the bed and stretched out her arms. "Barney!" She called. "Are you home?"

No response.

She got up, put on her bathrobe and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

As the coffeemaker puttered cozily she noticed something on the table. She froze.

Her heart stopped in her chest. The room started spinning around her, and she had to clutch to the counter for support. The only thing she could see was the shine from the engagement ring in the bright sunlight, and the short scribbled note underneath it.

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**Thanks for reading this, and please tell me what you think :) **


	5. Drink up

**Thanks for the great reviews ^^ I'll try to update more often now that summer-school is over :)**

* * *

_(friday)_

_So kids, in July 2012 I was on a date with a girl who liked architecture __**and **__star wars. How awesome is that?_

Jordy poured some margaritas for Ted and herself.

"So how come you chose to study architecture?" Ted asked her.

"Well, I thought it'd take my lego-building to a new level." She took a sip. "No I'm just kidding. I'm not a nerd." Her eyes fell on the 9-disc Star Wars blu-ray box and she quickly continued. "Anyhow, I guess I've always liked architects. They see possibilities where others see problems. Like if a space is really small they just add more storeys to make the house big anyway, you know?"

"Yeah, I really do." He nodded. "And you know, the skyscraper I designed," he leaned in and whispered "it has _a lot _of storeys."

"Professor Mosby…" She smiled her typical shy smile.

"We're not in class anymore. Just call me Ted."

"Well, Ted, what do you say we put this in and watch the Jedis fight in high definition?"

He smiled "I have to say, I haven't met a lot of girls who like Star Wars."

"Well, I had this private tutor in high school, she got me hooked on it. We'd watch it everytime I passed a test, as a celebration. It was really great." She smiled and added "She said though that if I ever failed a test she'd make me watch the "worst movie ever made"; some low-budget horror film from the 60's. Thank god that never happened."

Ted laughed "Sounds like a pretty cool tutor."

"She kinda was."

* * *

(saturday)

Robin grabbed another beer. Sure, it was only 5pm, but for someone who woke up 3am to host an early morning show it was practically 9.

Was this really the country she'd grown up in? Back then it had seemed so warm and familiar. She remembered ice skating on the lake with her friends, walking in the forest watching her father hunt.

At that time the forest had seemed endless, full of mysteries and things to explore. Now when she'd walked there again she'd realized it was only a few kilometers across.

Sure, she'd made some new friends since coming here, but they were only shallow relationships. Sometimes being with those friends just made her feel even more lonely.

She had a decent job and a nice apartment, but there was something missing in her life. There was a hollow space in her heart aching for something. She just couldn't put her finger on what.

* * *

Lily handed Marshall one of the glasses of orange juice and raised her own in a toast.

"To parenthood!"

"To staying home in your apartment in sweatpants Saturday night and going to bed early"

"To breastfeeding and staying away from alcohol, coffee and sushi"

"To being puked on twice a day by a tiny human"

"To losing your figure"

They emptied their glasses.

"Well at least last night was fun." Lily reached for the dvd they'd rented. "And tonight might be too. I mean it's the smurfs. They can't go wrong with the smurfs, right?"

"They are pretty funny." Marshall agreed. "And for what it's worth, I think you look great." He kissed her gently.

* * *

Halfway through her third beer Robin heard a firm knock on the door.

_Great, can't a girl revel in self-pity for one night? _She thought to herself as she went to open. _I mean, it's not like I… _"Barney?"

The thoughts swirled in her head. What? How? Why?

"You're Canadian." His voice sounded serious.

"Huh?" He'd come all the way to say that?

"You're Canadian. You're super-tall, you're loud and you're quite frankly a little crazy." He paused. "But I can't stop thinking about you. You're just… the most awesome girl I have ever met. And being away from you has made me see just how much my life sucks without you. I know I've screwed up in the past and I haven't been the boyfriend you deserve, but please, give me another chance." With slight hesitation he added "I'll even move to _Canada _if that's what it takes." He shivered unnoticeably.

"But, Barney… you're with Quinn_._"

He shook his head. "It's over." He took a deep breath. "So what do you say, will you give me another chance?"

Robin looked conflicted for a second. Then a tear started to build up in the corner of her eye.

"Yes."


	6. Saturday Night

_Robin gave channel 12 her weeks notice and the following Saturday she and Barney flew back to New York together._

_Later that night I was at the bar with Lily and Marshall, getting smacked on the shoulder by the kindergarten teacher._

* * *

"Ted! Didn't we go through this already? You _can't date your students."_

"But she's…"

"No, no buts! You're putting your career at stake here, and for what?"

"Oh, I don't know. The possibility of true love and happiness? The chance to meet the mother of my children?"

Lily sighed. "I get it, you're tired of being single. You want to meet 'the one'. But do you really thinks _she's _it? Seriously Ted, dating a 19-year old? Chasing after a girl that's totally off limits, you're better than that. It sounds more like something Barney would do.

"Hey guys!" Barney took a seat next to Ted and snatched one of Lilys French fries. "God, it's great to be back in New York."

Marshall looked suspicious. "Where have you been, really? We haven't heard from you for like a week."

"Oh I've been in Canada with Robin." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She'll be down here soon, she's just dropping off some stuff in my apartment. Well, _our _apartment, till she can find her own place. And this is NYC, it could take a while."

"Whoa, slow down. Robin's back from Canada?"

"Yes, Ted." Barney said slowly. "She realized she's too awesome for a country that calls their dollar a "loonie", and now she's living with me. Try to keep up, will you?"

He called on Wendy the waitress and ordered a scotch and soda.

"But, what about Quinn?" Lily looked concerned.

Barney downed his scotch and explained.

* * *

_So that was the night we all met Robin again. It was weird how fast things seemed to return to normal for our little gang. One hour and Two bottles of scotch later it was as though no time had passed._

* * *

"No way." By 11, Robin, Lily and Marshall had all headed home, leaving Ted and Barney alone at the bar. "_you're _nailing a 19-year old?" He nodded approvingly. "Awesome! Up high!"

Ted kept both his hands on the table. "First of all, I am not "nailing" her. We've just been on two dates. And second of all, it's not 'awesome'. I'm 35. I need something serious. This girl is 19. It could be 10 years before she wants children, and by that time I'll be… Oh my god, what am I doing? Seriously, I can't date this girl. If I don't stop wasting my time I'm going to end up alone!

Ted rose from the table. "I have to do something." He scanned the bar as if looking for something and rested his eyes on a brunette stirring a martini by the bar. "her." He mumbled to himself.

"You're gonna do _her_? Nice!" Barney raised his glass.

"No, I'm going to talk to her. Ask for her number."

"Oh, well that works too I guess." Barney shrugged and took a drink. He watched as his friend approached the woman, saw her exchange a few phrases with Ted before shaking her head and smiling apologetically. He saw Three more similar scenes go down before Ted, looking rather defeated, returned to the booth.

"When did _all _the women our age become committed? What happened to the single 30-year old? Did she become extinct?"

"Maybe some hunter took mercy and shot her."

"Barney, I'm serious."

"I know." He sighed. "Ted, you're just freaking out. You haven't gotten as far as you planned on by this point. I get it. But you can't just _decide_ you're going to meet 'the one' right here right now. You have to accept that some things are just out of your control. I know it sucks, but you have to be patient. Trust me," he smiled to himself "it'll be worth it."

_Kids, Barney was right. Love can't be forced. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it. And as faith would have it, Four weeks from that day, I did meet someone. Someone with a yellow umbrella._


	7. Barnman and Robin

_Kids, we're almost at the end now. But there are a few important stories I haven't told you yet. Like this one about Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin, in the beginning of August 2012._

It was finally Friday night again, and the "work" week was over for Barney. He and Robin were sitting in their apartment eating Chinese and watching 'The girl with the dragon tattoo'

"How can he be alone with her, she's clearly the killer." He said irritably.

"Shut up! The killer is _obviously…_"

She was interrupted by her phone.

"Robin Scherbatsky." Her face got serious. "Yes, I did. Yeah, I am." She nodded. "Really? Oh my god, that's great. Yes, I realize that. No, not at all. Well, thank you." She hung up.

"What was that about?"

Robin hesitated. "That was ESPN. They want me to go to Finland."

"Finland? You can't go to Finland. It's super cold and like 3000 miles away."

"First of all, I'm from Canada, the 6th coldest country in the world. And second, do you even know where Finland is?"

Barney thought for a second.

"I know it's not in America."

"It's in Europe. ESPN is going to film a documentary there about _ice hockey _and they want me to be the interviewer. It's like, my dream job." She really did look excited about it.

Barney thought for a second again. "Allright. I'll do it. I'll move to Finland with you."

"Wow." Robin looked impressed. "You really have changed. But there's no need to move there. They're only filming for a few days every month, so I can commute there every fourth week."

"Oh." He shone up "That's great news! This calls for champagne." He got off the couch and opened the liquor cabinet.

"Hmm. Looks like we drank the last of it when we celebrated your homecoming to the US."

"Actually I might have celebrated a bit on my own when The Kanucks got their new goalie." Robin admitted "I'll go buy some more. I could use some fresh air anyway."

Robin came home to find Barney in front of the computer screen.

"Did you know that the average height of the Finland male is 6 feet?" he greeted her.

"Oh, really?" She said nonchalantly as she went to get glasses.

"Yes." He confirmed "And 83% of them prefer foreign reporters over local women."

Robin lifted one eyebrow in amusement. "Are you jealous?"

Barney turned around and looked at her in disbelief. "Right." He scoffed. "Jealousy is for people like Ted, who, despite what they might say to the contrary, don't have game. I'm awesome." His face turned neutral "On a totally different note, I got you a present." He handed her a small, beautifully wrapped, red box. "Just something for you to remember me by while you're off meeting tall European hockey players."

Now it was Robins turn to look disbelieving. "I was gone for like 5 minutes, how did you…"

He waved away her question. "Please."

She unwrapped the gift.

"Oh my god, Barney, is this a…"

"Robin Charles Scherbatsky," he was down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

Robin looked conflicted.

"No."

"No?" Barney looked like she had just slapped him hard across the face. "You're… You're…"

"Look, I'm sorry. But this is like the tenth time you've proposed to someone. It clearly means nothing to you. I do want to marry you, but I can't be the 10th girl you propose to. I just can't."

"Okay, I'm not going to pretend I haven't done things I'm not proud of in the past." He was standing again. "But I've changed now, you know I have. I can't change my past, I can only make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes in the future."

Robin sighed. "If you're really serious about this, then prove it."

"How?"

"I'm leaving for Finland in 3 weeks. If you really want to marry me, let's do it before then."


	8. Work it

_Kids, every job has its ups and downs. In the middle of August 2012, ours were no exceptions._

"No no, that's all wrong!" Barney was annoyed. "The boxes were supposed to be shipped to Mr. Lee, not Mr. Ling. Now they'll get caught in Chinese border control and people are going to be asking questions."

His assistant Patrice looked slightly panicked. "I'm so sorry, I must've gotten it wrong. Is this going to get us into trouble?"

He sighed. "No, that's all right. We sent them in the name of Burlington elementary school. Just be more careful, okay?"

She nodded and turned around to leave, but Barney stopped her.

"By the way, I'm gonna need you to book a ballroom for like 50 people at the plaza for next Saturday. I've got a major presentation."

She looked confused. "What kind of presentation are you holding in a ballroom at the Plaza?"

"Oh, I could tell you." He said gravely. "But I think it's better for your own safety not to know."

"I'm sorry."

"That's okay. While you're at it, why don't you book me a suite as well? I've got an especially important client I'm hoping to reach a merger with."

"Of course, Mr. Stinson."

* * *

"So unless they file an official complaint before 5pm on Friday, the law will be executed and we will be one step closer to saving the forests."

Everyone applauded. Marshall had been doing well at work recently. The birth of Marvin Wait for it had really inspired him in his fight to save the planet for future generations.

"Well done, Eriksen." Garrison patted him on the shoulder. "Keep it up and you may very well make partner some day. Although there is one thing you have yet to learn." He turned to the rest of the audience. "Victory should always be celebrated with cake. Am I right? All right, Anderson, bring them in please."

A short young woman came in carrying a tray of splitted buns with a thick layer of whipped cream in the middle.

"They're called Victoria-burgers. Got them at a bakery downtown. Look delicious, don't they?"

* * *

"So, this is architecture 201. I'm professor Mosby, this year as well."

Only Jordy laughed. She didn't seem to really be over Ted yet.

"It's gonna be a bit tougher this year. You've already laid the foundation, or the _floors _to your education. Now it's time to work on the _walls_."

Not even Jordy smiled at that one.

"Anyhow," he continued awkwardly, "Let's get started." He turned his projector on, displaying a picture of an asian man.

"This is Shigeru Ban. He is known for building houses from recycled _paper. _As an architect you sometimes have to be flexible in the material you use. For todays task I want you to divide into groups and try to build sturdy model bridges, using only pencils."

* * *

"No-no-no, don't eat the pencil." Lily ran up and grabbed it from the boy. Some kids were just hell-bent on causing trouble. And this kid seemed hell-bent on eating everything in sight. "Here, have some nice fruit."

"Miss Aldrin" A buck-teethed girl with pigtails was calling her attention from behind her. "Tim and Harry are fighting again."

"Aw, man. Can't they ever just leave it alone? Hey, Jimmy, you have to _peel _the bana... ah, screw it. At least it's organic." She turned to the girl. "where are they?"

Two minutes later she found herself out by the swingset.

"It's my turn!" Harry was pulling Tims hair.

"Stop it!" Tim was trying to punch Harry in the stomach.

"Boys!" Lily scolded. "You need to solve your conflicts with _words._"

"Okay." The taller boy stretch up proudly. "Jerkface!"

"No-no, not those words." She sighed. "You know what, no swinging for either of you. Just go inside"

_It was just an ordinary Monday, for all of us. Little did we know that just 2 weeks from that, all of our lives would be different. Barney would be married to Robin, I would be on a date with your mother, and Lily and Marshall… well, we'll get to that._

* * *

**This one was kind of uninspired :/ but just 2 chapters to go now, bear with me please :)**


	9. ST old, ST new, ST stupid to do

**Sorry I've taken so long to update. I've been in Norway for two weeks to visit my (awesome and HIMYM-loving) big sister. But I'm back now and I'll try to post the last chapter within a week :)**

* * *

_Son, some day you might end up planning a bachelor party. And you might be worried about whether you're doing it right. Don't be. There's only one thing that's important when throwing a bachelor party. Keep the groom out of jail, and the ER. Unfortunately, I failed that when I threw the one for your uncle Barney. _

Ted raised his glass. "To your last night out as a single man!"

"Marriage is great, dude, you're gonna love it." Marshall added before taking a drink of the beer.

"So what are we doing tonight? I assume we're not gonna stay here at McLarrens the whole time." His eyes pierced Ted. "And do not tell me you've planned a tea-party or something."

Ted just smiled. "You'll see."

* * *

The tea was hot and fruity. Robin took a sip as she eyed Lily. "Truth."

Lily smiled mischievously.

They had decided on an old-fashioned sleep-over, and were both dressed in sweatpants.

"Where's the weirdest place you and Barney've done it?"

"Umm…" Robin thought to herself. "I guess that'd have to be the church."

"The church?" Lily looked impressed

"Yep. A confession booth in Staten Island catholic church. Afterwards he tried to high-five a rabi."

"Got kicked out?" Lily sounded partly amused, partly sympathetic.

"We're pretty banned."

Lily chuckled.

"Okay, your turn." Robin said.

"Well, dare."

Robin got out a bottle of vodka from the cupboard and spiked Lilys half-full tea-cup with it.

"Drink up!" she dared.

Lily frowned and took a sip.

She raised her eyebrows. "It's actually good."

"Yeah?" Robin took the bottle again and filled up her own cup. "Yeah." She concluded. "Besides, it's not a real bachelorette party without alcohol."

"True. It's just tradition." Lily emptied her cup. "Hey I wonder what the guys are doing now."

"I don't know, Ted wouldn't tell me… He just assured me there would be no strippers."

"No strippers huh. I wonder how Barney feels about that."

* * *

"Hey, let's go to a stripclub!" Sitting next to Ted in the backseat, Barney still didn't know where they were going.

"Sorry bro. A; it's your bachelor party therefore you have no vote, and B; I promised your fiancée the only naked girl you'd see before your wedding was her."

"Come on, Ted! A bachelor party without strippers is like a salad without meat. It's just for chicks and hippies. Back me up here, Ranjit."

"I'm sorry Barney." He said in his usual accent. "You really should respect your fiancé.

Barney sighed. "So where are you hippies taking me?"

Robin had just finished her 3rd cup of vodka tea, and was spinning it with her hands.

"I'm glad we decided on this, just the two of us."

"Yeah, I mean we really are too mature for wild parties anyway." Lily agreed.

"And strippers are so cliché."

"Well." Lily smiled mischievously. "Strippers on _tape_ don't really count, do they?" She pulled out an anonymous-looking tape from the bottom of her bag. "I 'saved' this from the collection of another friend getting married."

Robin grinned. "Totally doesn't count."

* * *

The cab pulled into a halt.

"Well here we are, amigos." Ted stated.

Barney stepped out and looked at the bright red sign in front of them.

A smile started to spread across his face, that may or may not've had anything to do with the four beers he'd had that night. "Bullfighting? Awesome!"

He slapped Ted on the back. "Maybe you do know how to plan a fun night after all. Hey, do you think I can bet on these bulls?"

"No I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

"Oh well." Barney shrugged. "Probably shouldn't break any more laws this week anyway." He winked at Ted.

"What?"

"Oh Marshall, you're here. Good. Now let's see what kind of weak-shirted men they've found to try to overthrow the bulls this time."

* * *

"Hey, do you realize that by this time next week you're going to be Mrs Stinson?" Lily asked over the background music of the movie.

"I know, it's so weird. I mean, I'm like the last person I thought would ever get married."

"Are you having cold feet?"

"Maybe a little." She admitted. "It's not that I don't love Barney, it's just such a big commitment."

The red-head nodded. "Remember that night we went to prom together, and I freaked out about marrying Marshall. I was so worried about the things I hadn't done, and you ended up kissing me." She smiled at the memory, but then her eyes widened. "I think that's what you need. You need to do something stupid. You need to have one last crazy experience before taking such a big step. Isn't there anything you've always wanted to do?

Robin thought long and hard. "Well…"

* * *

The speakervoice rang over the stadium. Three fighters had already defeated their bulls, and the half-time cheerleaders had just finished.

"And now, before we bring on the next round, we have a challenge to the audience! Do any of you think you have what it takes to be a bullfighter? Then come on down and give it your best shot! One volunteer will get to go a round against the proud Fernando. At your own risk, we take no legal responsibility."

_Kids, remember how I told you there are certain five-word sentences a man will live to regret? Well, this was one of them._

"I could be a bullfighter." Barney snorted.

_I'm not sure what happened at Robins bachelorette party. She's always been very secretive about it. Even Lily's been able to keep it quiet all these years. All I do know is when I bailed them out the next morning they smelled quite strongly of oranges, looked rather embarrassed, and were both missing their shoes._

_As for Barney, after a fierce battle with Fernando he ended up in the ER with a mild concussion. Don't worry, he was released the next night. And he had a good doctor, it was the same one Lily had when… wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again!_

* * *

***No bulls were hurt in the writing of this story. They were patched up by the vet and released into the wild, or wherever bulls live.**


	10. The wedding

**Again, I'm late on updating. Sorry. This is the final chapter, thanks for reading this story :)**

* * *

_Girls, the day I met your grandpa, Luke and Leia's father, was a warm late-summer day, much like this one. I was at a wedding…_

She applied more red color, making her lips look big and full. Maybe too big. She didn't want to take focus off her eyes, which were after all her best feature. She wiped some of it off, and sighed. Why was she so nervous about this? It's not like it was _her_ wedding. She just had an odd feeling about this day.

"Hey, are you ready yet? It's almost time." A dark-skinned woman had just come through the door.

The blonde girl closed her make-up bag, took a deep breath and winked at herself in the mirror. "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

_So there I was, at uncle Barneys wedding, the last wedding I ever thought I would be at. Yet, in some crazy way it made perfect sense._

"Best man, you're being summoned." Lily called to Ted from the door.

He left Marshall on the bench and went inside. Barney was having a freak-out, giving me a big speech about having chosen the right "tie".

"I mean, sure the tie's skinny now. But what if it gets fat and starts bossing me around? Would I've been happier with the other tie?"

* * *

The bass gave out a low tone as she ran her fingers over one of the strings, checking that it was correctly tuned.

Her friend smiled at her. "So, are you ready for our first ever wedding-gig?"

"Yeah..." She replied absentmindedly. "Just a little nervous."

"You'll do fine. You always do." She grabbed her microphone and sang mockingly into it with her deep alto voice. "_Jessica'll do fiiine._"

* * *

Lily sat down. She was glad Robin had chosen Ted as best man, rather than going with a maid of honor. She just wouldn't have been up to it today.

"Are you okay?" Marshall looked concerned. "You look kind of pale."

Lily took a deep breath. "Yeah. I just need some water."

"Water. Of course. I'll be right back."

* * *

Her reflection was tall and gorgeous, dressed in puffy white materials.

"How do I look?" she asked anxiously.

Ted smiled. "Like a queen, _Mrs Stinson."_

* * *

"Here." He handed her the water. "I also got you a sandwich, you haven't…"

But Lily was already halfway to the bathroom.

Her vomited echoed between the tiles, and she came out again with a defeated look on her face.

Marshall looked from her to the tuna&pickles sandwich as he seemed to connect the dots. "Oh my god…"

* * *

Jessica stood by the window watching the park outside.

She saw the couples; sitting on the bench holding hands, walking by the trees.

She sighed to herself. It had been a few months now since she'd turned 30, and being in a wedding like this she couldn't help but wonder when it was going to be her turn.

All the guys she'd dated lately had only had one thing in mind, and it was getting tiring. If only she could find someone decent, someone who…

"Hey, I found you!" Once again she was interrupted in her thoughts by the dark-skinned Patricia.

"Guess what! You know that girl you used to tutor? Apparently her ex is the best man at this wedding. For the groom _and _the bride. Isn't that funny?"

Jessica smiled. Patricia sure had a knack for lighting up the mood.

* * *

"Seriously Ted." Robin insisted. "The flowers are _fine._"

Ted was up on a ladder, trying to make some last-minute changes.

"But if we move the white and yellow flowers over there and put the red flowers behind you and Barney, you'll stand out more." He pressed on. "It's your wedding day, don't you want to stand out?"

"I'm the _bride._ I'm dressed in a gallon of white. I'll stand out either way. Gee, sometimes I think you take this more seriously than I do. Next you'll want to do my make-up…"

"Well…" he pondered. "A little more blush wouldn't hurt… I'm kidding" he added after the look he got from Robin. "I just want today to be great. I want you and Barney to have a perfect wedding."

"I know." Robin smiled. "And I'm grateful for all you're doing for us, really."

* * *

No sooner had Robin went back to her chambers than he was approached again by Marshall.

"Hey, Ted… I'm going down to the convenience store, could you make sure no one notices I'm gone?"

"What?" Ted looked at him like he was crazy. "The wedding starts in _35 minutes_. Besides, it's a freaking rainstorm out there. What do you n…"

"A pregnancy test." His voice sounded serious.

Ted looked at him for a few seconds. "I'll go." He said finally. "I'm the best man, I'll just say I've got an errand to run."

Marshall looked relieved. "Thanks, Ted."

* * *

Barney took a deep breath. This was it. A part of him was terrified, but another part had never felt more sure about anything in his life.

It was Robin. The most amazing woman on the planet. The girl he could not see how any boy could not be madly in love with. She had chosen him. They were gonna get married.

* * *

The band had gathered for a final soundcheck. "Half an hour to go, guys!" Patricia yelled between the songs. "Time to get psyched!"

Jessica exchanged a meaningful look with the guitarist. She lifted the bass over her head. "Yeah! Let's tear this place down!"

Patricia rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

The other two laughed. "Yeah, we're just messing with you."

"Umm, excuse me!" They turned around to see a handsome darkhaired man pointing to the yellow umbrella by the door. "Can I borrow this?"

The bassplayer smiled, and pushed her blonde hair away from her face.

"Sure."


End file.
